There isn’t a day that I’m online that I don’t see someone post about how much they hate Dain Aetos. All the Dain hate has made me re-evaluate how I see him, and whether I think Dain’s series arc includes eventual redemption.
I want to start with some personal details, because they do influence my suspicions about Dain. First, the way I grew up, your backside would be raw if you were caught majorly stepping out of line, so I didn’t. I also had a parent who was undiagnosed bipolar, and that contributed to some challenges for me at home. Consequently, school was a comfortable environment and I liked school. I’m not sure why I feel the need to apologize for that, even now, but being bullied and taunted about being a brown noser/goody two shoes because I liked learning is a trauma I’m still trying to unpack. As some of you know, I was severely beaten during my grade 9 year and forced to transfer to a school in another town for my safety.
I sought safety through religion. I needed the world to be black and white and make sense (which I realize now probably stems from autism). Some of you know I spent several years involved in missionary work and I’ve alluded to my religious deprogramming before.
Because of the bullying I experienced, I’m mindful of the fact that people are often vilified for doing the right thing. Snitches get stitches, right? (And listen to video #1 if you want to hear a personal story about manipulation and responsibility.)
Everyone’s thinking is influenced by others. Politicians skew messages to stir up our fears and support their agenda, and skilled politicians even make people think their beliefs are their own. The media skews news. When I was studying journalism, we did an analysis of political profiles in Maclean’s. These weren’t the exact terms (this was 30 years ago) but the gist was that a favored politician was described as looking thoughtful, being patient, talking pleasantly. An unfavored politician was described as brisk, frowning, scowling, etc. The peppering of adjectives fosters an impression the publication wishes to convey.
I feel both Dain and Violet have been conditioned, perhaps even brainwashed, into their ideological beliefs. One example is how Violet blames Poromiel for refusing to accept peace. We know she learns later that she’s been sold a bill of goods by her government, and the final chapters of Fourth Wing turn her beliefs upside down as she realizes the truth.
Let’s look at Dain at Montserat. On page 335 Mira initiates a training exercise.
“How many of you have been called out as third-years?” Mira stands straight, folding her arms over her black leathers and the strap that holds her sword to her back.
Emery and Xaden raise their hands, though Xaden’s is barely a gesture.
Dain looks like his head is about to explode. “That’s not correct. We’re never called into service until graduation.”
Xaden presses his lips in a tight line and nods, giving him a sarcastic thumbs-up.
“Yeah, all right.” Emery laughs. “Just wait until next year. I can’t count how many times we’re the ones sitting in these very rooms in the midland forts because their riders have been called to the front for an emergency.”
The color drains from Dain’s face.
Dain has been taught things are a certain way, and when they aren’t that way, he’s shocked. This is an example of him realizing he’s been misinformed or had things held back from him, which is something that rattles him.
Now, I realize part of his response connects to his need to know everything. However, I think it suggests he’s being misled and manipulated, and it’s worth noting that it isn’t just Dain that cites regulations.
Let’s take a look at the night Violet starts channeling and her dragon doesn’t shield while he’s busy with his mate. On page 273, she runs outside.
My eyes pop open at the scent in the air and I whirl, my cloak whipping out behind me as I find the source of the sweet, easily identifiable smoke.
Xaden is leaning back against the wall, one foot braced on the stone, smoking and watching me like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
“Is that…churam?”
He blows out a puff of smoke. “Want some? Unless you’re here to continue our earlier argument, in which case, none for you.”
My jaw practically unhinges. “No! We’re not allowed to smoke that!”
Now, Dain and Violet are two different people. Dain leans hard into the rules; Violet learns to bend them, and we see this when she defeats the Gauntlet. On page 140, Amber Mavis calls Violet a cheater, and Violet does back herself up quoting the Codex, but before that, she has this thought:
No wonder she and Dain are so close – they’re both in love with the Codex.
I don’t want to sidetrack into a discussion about Violet; it’s just worth noting that on page 141 she says, “The right way isn’t the only way,” and wins her case against Amber, and if you’ve read the book, you know that disagreement isn’t over.
Dain and Violet are different. But both of them have been conditioned to think in a specific way.
Our introduction to Dain comes through Mira in chapter 1. He’s supposed to be a friend, someone to keep Violet safe. And it’s also clear Violet is interested in Dain.
Page 11:
“Dain?” I can’t help but smile at the thought of seeing Dain again, and my heart rate jumps … I’ve missed our friendship, and the moments I thought it might turn into something more.
In my thoughts on General Sorrengail, I explained the definition of emotional abuse and cited examples of Lilith’s emotional abuse of Violet. In addition to her abuse, she failed to prepare Violet for the Parapet, ignored the fact that what she was wearing would get her killed, and then may have used her signet to try to kill Violet while she was on the Parapet.
Violet makes it across because of Mira, and when she gets across, it’s Dain who helps her. He sees her injured. He sees her shaking and nauseous. Her mother may have tried to kill her. Can we really blame Dain for wanting to get her out? At that point, I don’t think we can.
Now, we do see early on that Dain’s willing to break or bend some rules. On page 33 he takes her to his room to wrap her knee, and it’s noted that she’s not supposed to be up there. However, that isn’t the only time she’s in his room. I’m going to point back to this later with a theory.
During Xaden’s speech on Conscription Day, he says on page 44:
Roughly half of you will be dead by this time next summer.” The formation is silent except for a few untimely sobs from my left. “A third of you again the year after that, and the same your last year. No one cares who your mommy or daddy is here. Even King Tauri’s second son died during his Threshing.”
Can we really blame Dain for being worried about Violet?
For me, Dain crosses the line on page 71. Violet needs medical care after Imogen snaps her arm when sparring, and Dain tries to get her to go to the scribe quadrant. Violet says no. After this, his repeated efforts to get her to leave demonstrate a fundamental disrespect for her right to make her own choices, which is something I also hold against General Sorrengail.
There’s also the issue of consent. We don’t know if Dain’s reading her memories all the time. However, when the conflict with Amber Mavis comes to the fore, and Xaden accuses Amber of trying to kill Violet, Dain tries to take Violet’s memories without consent.
On page 244:
He lifts his hands, as though ready to cup my face. “Let me see.”
The shock of what he intends to do has me stumbling backward. How have I forgotten that his signet allows him to see others’ memories?
Consent is a significant issue with Dain, tied to his unwillingness to respect Violet. He seems to have a sense of entitlement.
But I do think it’s a more nuanced discussion than it seems. I noted earlier that Dain snuck Violet into his room on more than one occasion, showing a willingness to bend the rules. There’s also a strong inference he was involved with Amber Mavis during his first year, and she was a year ahead of him and in leadership. Since it’s frowned upon for first years to get involved with ranking second- and third-years, it suggests he was breaking a few rules in his first year, too.
And let’s talk about another occasion when Dain bends the rules: Threshing.
Pages 191-192:
Dain’s hands lace up my corset quickly, then are on my face, tipping it up toward his.
“You have to know that I would do anything to save you, Violet, to keep you safe,” he blurts, panic in his eyes. “What Riorson said…” He shakes his head.
“I know,” I say reassuringly, nodding even as something cracks in my heart. “You always want me safe.” He’d do anything. Except break the rules.
“You have to know how I feel about you.” His thumb strokes over my cheek, his eye searching for something, and then his mouth is on mine.
His lips are soft, but the kiss is firm, and delight races up my spine. After years, Dain is finally kissing me.
The thrill is gone in less than a heartbeat. There’s no heat. No energy. No sharp slice of lust. Disappointment sours the moment, but not for Dain. He’s all smiles as he pulls away.
It was over in an instant.
It was everything I’ve ever wanted…except…
Shit. I don’t want it anymore.
Why does the kiss matter? Because the ranking military officers, including Violet’s mom and presumably Dain’s dad, were at Threshing. Also my references to Dain bending the rules in his first year, and early on with Violet? He wasn’t allowed contact with his family as a first-year. But Colonel Aetos references talking to Dain on page 307.
My theory is that Dain got in some serious shit for kissing Violet. He was smiling after the kiss. On page 204, he says it was a mistake. We know Dain must be an exceptional rider because he’s second year and a squad leader. Page 32:
Squad leader? My brows jump. The highest ranks among the cadets in the quadrant are winglader and section leader. Both positions are held by elite third-years. Second-years can rise to quad leaders, but only if they’re exceptional.
Plus, with Dain’s signet, it’s suggested he’s being groomed for intelligence work, referenced on page 52.
Then, on page 287 Dain tells Violet:
“Look, you don’t know everything there is to know about Xaden, Vi. I have a higher security clearance due to my signet, and you need to be careful. Xaden has secrets, reasons to never forgive your mother, and I don’t want him to use you to get his revenge.”
It should also be noted that when Violet’s squad breaks into General Sorrengail’s office, on page 319, she sees a letter about unrest in Tyrrendor and fear Navarre might lose the people’s support. This means there’s a potential for another rebellion.
I’m pointing this out because we don’t know what Dain’s been told, exactly, but between his comments about Xaden and the note that he’s being groomed for intelligence work, it seems he’s been told something that makes him okay with stealing Violet’s memories.
And here’s the thing. He probably believes what he’s doing is right because it’s for the greater good, and he doesn’t see he’s being manipulated.
One one hand, Dain told Violet on page 52, “I just put my hands on someone’s temples and I can see what they saw.” On the other, Xaden demonstrates Dain uses his power by touching the cheek, on page 450. It certainly seems we can be angry with Dain for lying to Violet.
But there are things we can’t be angry with him for. One, Xaden told Violet about Athebyne the day after they had sex, on page 391, and we have no indication of Dain touching Violet for well over a month, until Reunification Day. Within hours, best guess around 8 hours later, Xaden’s group is sent there to die. I think this was only feasible because on page 319, Violet saw the letter about potentially abandoning Athebyne. I think the setup was in motion before Dain confirmed the location, just because of the time that would have been needed to lure the venin to that location. (Refer to the last page of the book for confirmation what happened was no accident.) (See note below about the timeline.)
Two, many blame Dain for sending Violet, but he didn’t. Xaden ordered Violet to come with his group. Dain argued with him. Page 429:
“Don’t do this. Riders are known to die during War Games, and she’s safer with me,” Dain argues …
Xaden responds:
“I’m not dignifying that with a response. This is an order.”
If we want to blame Dain, let’s blame him for the things he’s guilty of. Disrespecting Violet. Failing to believe in her. And violating her, even if he thought it was serving the greater good.
But let’s not blame him for something he did not do. He may have helped send Xaden, Garrett, Bodhi, and the others to potentially die. But he did not send Violet to die.
On page 32, Violet recalls:
Dain, who held me together when Mira left for the Riders Quadrant and again when Brennan died.
Because of the concerns about another potential rebellion and whatever Dain was told about Xaden, I think he felt justified following orders and accessing Violet’s memories. It doesn’t mean I agree with that. But I don’t feel it’s fair to completely blame Dain. This is a young man who’s still learning, who yeah, is flawed, but he doesn’t have to be written off as irredeemable at the age of 21. The true test of Dain’s character will be when his eyes are opened to the corruption, and what he does then.
I’m Xaden and Violet all the way, but Dain isn’t a lost cause. Most of us would like to think we deserve second chances to change. I look back on my missionary service and some of my rather puritan attitudes and judgements from decades ago, and am thankful I had a chance to change. Dain has the potential to have an incredible transformational arc, and to illustrate ideological deprogramming with his transformation. Will that happen? Who knows. It’s two weeks today until we find out more in Iron Flame.
Note:
About the timeframe. We know that Xaden says on page 484 it’s a 12 hour flight back to Basgiath from where they are. Even accounting for the distance from Athebyne to the settlement in Poromiel, it’s at least 11 hours from Athebyne to Basgiath. What else do we know? On page 399, Devera tells them the fireworks are at 9 p.m. and on page 400, Violet refers to it being night when she goes to the celebration. We also know it’s July, so presumably, it doesn’t get dark early.
And on page 423, Xaden says it’s 4:15 a.m. when they’re called from his room. This is how I’ve estimated at best, 8 hours of time between Dain learning about Athebyne and Xaden’s group being ordered there.
For those preferring video links:
darkdispatch.com 